Does time really heal all wounds? That was the question I have been asking myself before I found a pretty good read on the Internet.
The steps to healing outlined in the article:
- Know exactly how you feel about what happened, and be able to articulate what about the situation is not okay. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience.
- Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you, and not for anyone else.
- Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning his action. The bottom line is inner peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”
- It’s all about perspective. Recognize what it is that is causing you pain now, and what offended you or hurt you two minutes—or 10 years—ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
- The moment you feel upset, practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight-or-fight response. Make the coping skill a healthy one.
- Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Build your boundaries, and teach other people to respect them.
- Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you.
- Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
- Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive. You always have the power in your hands to create your own ending.